Life in the Gutter

While most of the speculation about getting fired rests on Lane Kiffin in Oakland, his Raiders can't compare in how bad they are to the three teams at the bottom. It's not as if these three teams are just coming up short in hard-fought games, like the Dolphins of last year did in several games. These teams are just pitiful. The '01 Panthers (record 1-15), the '96 Jets (1-15), the '73-74 Oilers (2-26), the '76-77 Buccaneers (2-26), the (insert any year in the 1990's) Bengals (19-52 under Dave Shula) could look like the '85 Bears compared to these teams. Fortunately for humanity, none of these three teams play each other.
Kansas City Chiefs (32 points for, 78 points against)-Under Dick Vermeil, the Chiefs had one of the best offenses in the NFL. Under Herm Edwards, they have one of the most predictable. Of course, with a starting trio of Damon Huard, Brodie Croyle, and Tyler Thigpen, don't be surprised. After Vermeil retired, the Chiefs' management was just gushing over getting Edwards from New York. The result? A 13-23 record, and losses in 12 of the last 12 games. Edwards once said, "Hello? You play to win the game!" These guys just play to show the team has a pulse. I'm not convinced as of yet. Ironically, we only have to travel across the state of Missouri to find the next terrible team.
St. Louis Rams (29 points for, 116 points against)- Yes, this is the team that won the Super Bowl in 2000 and went to another one in 2002. The "Greatest Show on Turf" is now an episode of "Football Follies." These guys just stink, and some of it stems from horrific coaching by Scott Linehan, who probably won't last through the bye week (you know, there actually used to be good NFL head coaches in Missouri). Linehan's latest move has been to replace Pro-Bowl QB Marc Bulger with concussion-prone Trent Green, all of this behind a line that couldn't pass block against the "Little Giants." Ladies and Gentlemen, start your Fantasy players against these guys.
Detroit Lions (58 points for, 113 points against)- GM Matt Millen has been shown the door, something long overdue (and all the overrated WR's mourn). However, there is a huge road ahead, because these guys have now lost ten of their last eleven games, their only win coming against (guess who!) the Kansas City Chiefs. They did manage to build a one point lead over Green Bay in week two, but then surrendered 24 points in the final five minutes. The crowning insult was losing in week 3 to San Francisco, beat by Mike Martz, the OC they fired, and J.T. O' Sullivan, the QB they cut. Martz, who was criticized for not running the ball enough in Detroit, ran all over Detroit with Frank Gore. If I were Detroit, I'd be missing Wayne Fontes right about now.

Days of Our Raiders

Doesn't it seem like yesterday Al Davis was firing Art Shell and hiring Lane Kiffin? Well, at the rate Davis has been hiring and firing coaches, that's a fair assumption.
For the fourth time since 2003, Al Davis has been thinking about firing his head football coach. The only problem is that Davis doesn't want to pay Kiffin the rest of his contract. Kiffin, likewise, doesn't want to resign and lose his pay, but it doesn't take a keen eye to see that he wants out. What coach wouldn't want out of Oakland? Aside from the fact that the Raiders are just a pitiful team (even with five years of early first-round draft picks; lucky for them the Chiefs are in the same division), Kiffin doesn't even have control over his own personnel. In the future, Davis should simply keep hiring young coaches trying to beef up their resumes, because no one else is going to want the job. This team is going to be in the ground for a while, but seeing as how owners of other franchises have hurt their teams through micromanagement (Bidwell-Cardinals and Brown-Bengals), should I be surprised?

On the Hot Seat

NFL Sunday has come at last, and already several coaches on the hot seat have either improved or worsened their situation. Here's a blow-by-blow account of these coaches and what this week, if anything, went their way.



Rod Marinelli (Detroit Lions)- Since Matt Millen took over as the General Manager of the Lions, he's had his fair share of head coaches. First came Marty Mornhinweg (dubbed Marty "Moron"-weg by the press) with an overall record of 5-27. Then came Steve Mariucci with an overall record of 15-28. Mariucci was fired during the 2005 season and Dick Jauron took over as the interim head coach, although the team didn't do much better, going 1-4 in five games. Now Marinelli is at the reigns of this sinking franchise (actually, its tough for the team to be sinking when they're continuously bad), and after Sunday's loss against the Falcons, his record stands at 10-23, and boy did his team look pitiful. This is a game in which the Lions were favored (that won't happen much this season) and their defense (Marinelli's specialty) got run over. Whether the Falcons were running or passing, the Lions couldn't stop them. If the way the Lions played today is indicative of how they'll play the rest of the season, Marinelli, and possibly Millen, will be leaving the Motor City by the end of the season.



Scott Linehan (St. Louis Rams)-Why did the Rams hire this guys again? The Rams have gone from a respectable franchise that won Super Bowl XXXIV to a 3-13 season in 2007. In their 38-3 loss to the Eagles, the Rams couldn't seem to do anything right. Sure, some of St. Louis's problems are not Linehan's fault, but in the NFL, that doesn't matter. In week 2, they have to play the Super Bowl Champ Giants, and it will not get any easier for them as they play Dallas, Buffalo, New England, and the Jets. I wouldn't be surprised if Linehan doesn't last past the bye week.

Lane Kiffin (Oakland Raiders)- We already know owner Al Davis, who regularily hires and fires coaches (only one has lasted more than two years since 1994), wanted to fire Kiffin at the end of last season. However, who coaches this team might not matter. In the 41-14 loss to Denver, the Raiders looked pitiful on all levels. Even though Davis has spent money on draft picks and free agents like a drunken sailor, it seems to be to no avail. Kiffin looks very likely to join the many who have been fired from the least safe job in the country (except for Chicago Bears quarterbacks).

Mike Nolan (San Francisco 49ers)- Even though San Francisco lost 23-13 to the Cardinals on Sunday, their offense looked better than the pathetic excuse for an offense that showed up last season. They were actually a few plays away from making the game a lot closer. However, for Nolan, who is in his fourth season, being better may not be enough. He needs to win more games to save his job.

John Fox (Carolina Panthers)- This is actually a good coach who took a team from 1-15 to the Super Bowl in two years but who has struggled as of late due to injuries to his quarterback. This Sunday though, the Panthers showed they still have some style. They managed a last-second victory over the highly-ranked San Diego Chargers without wide receiver Steve Smith. While Fox probably needs to make the playoffs to save his job, that seems more likely now than it did during the preseason.

Marvin Lewis (Cincinatti Bengals)- I can't say why this coach is so widely admired. Cincinatti's defense (Lewis's specialty) has ranked close to last in all of the five years he has coached the Bengals. On Sunday, they deserved a last ranking in their 17-10 loss to Baltimore, especially after rookie QB Joe Flacco (who is 6'6'') rushed for a forty yard touchdown. Their offense, led by pro-bowl QB Carson Palmer and wide receiver Chad "Ocho Cinco," didn't look much better. Why Bengals owner Mike Brown, who had no hesitation letting Forrest Gregg (who took the Bengals to a Super Bowl) go to Green Bay or firing Sam Wyche (who took the Bengals to a Super Bowl) hasn't fired Lewis yet is a mystery worthy of the CSI crew. Maybe this year Brown will see the error of his ways.

Some people might note that Mike Shanahan (Denver Broncos), Andy Reid (Philadelphia Eagles), Herm Edwards (Kansas City Chiefs), and Brad Childress (Minnesota Vikings) aren't on this list. That's because as of now, there is no evidence to say that any of them are on the hot seat, though Childress's job could be in jeopardy if the Vikings perform drastically below expectations. Also, there tends to be at least one coach not on the hot seat at the beginning of the season who gets fired at the end of the season (e.g. Brian Billick and Marty Schottenheimer). However, all of these coaches are generally accepted to be on the hot seat, and most of them this week showed us why they are.